Jan 29, 2015

Don't Put Nofap On A Pedestal. The Truth Of NoFap After Two Years.


I been "aware" about nofap for two years now, and made many attempts to at least get to 90 days. Never got past about two weeks without edging. I'm someone that deals with social anxiety, depression and lack of motivation.

Over the last year I been telling my self things like " if I could just get on a long nofap run I bet my dopamine receptors would heal, my anxiety/depression would lessen, my overall life motivation would increase, and I could start adding healthy activities, building a synergy with nofap that will carry me out of my depressive life style."

Well here I am, a 100% PERFECT 1 month nofap run ( 0 pornography, images, or masturbation of any kind). Also added in running 3 miles 5 times per week, and gym 4 times per week. Also quit playing video games.

And the results? Honestly? I don't feel much different then when I was fapping 3x per day six weeks ago... the best I felt was week 2/3 when my testosterone levels were pretty high and I was lifting hard and running further. A wet dream at day 24 and day 29 killed these benefits.

It definitely wasn't the life changing month, that I been expecting for the last two years of attempting nofap: "if I can just get on a one month streak I bet my life will improve so dramatically based on all the superpowers and other information I been reading on rnofap for two years..." (my thoughts over the last two years).

I think that my internet/escapist addiction in general, that feeling of wanting to check reddit/email every 30 mins, the want to play video games when I first wake up, or when I first get home the first thing I do is turn on my computer... in think that problem is a way bigger demon then pmo is. One month of nofap did help me realize this, but if I would of worked on this on the first place pmo would of worked its self out.

In conclusion of two years of nofap research and attempts. I believe that PMO is a SYMPTOM of my real problem.

With that said, starting February after the superbowl, I'm going to begin tackling my escapist problem. Ill of course continue nofap, and hopefully with the combined effects of the two, plus continuing to exercise, till I feel some real results. 


Some Useful Comments (Regarding Internet Addiction and other issues affecting the posters life)

WorthlessFapper I identify with this so much dude. i just hit 30 days today and yet if anything i'm more sad than when i began. i know that i'm addicted to being on my phone and my computer and the internet in general, but in this day and age it's borderline impossible to break. good luck with it! 

kdawg0707 - Remember that nofap enables you to feel negative emotions more clearly as well as positive emotions. Use this sadness as motivation to get pissed off/psyched up/super-motivated to start tackling some of your other problems. It's so worth it! 

xnymeros - It's relieving to hear some one else is right here with me. Maybe "kdawg" is right, we are just feeling the negatives in our lives worse b.c nofap makes us more sensitive to feeling in general. But shit man... a whole month of kicking ass at nofap , WHERE ARE MY SUPER POWERS? WHY DO I FEEL JUST AS BAD AS WHEN I WAS FAPPING/GAMING ALL DAY?
uggg....

Frenzy666 -Just a comment about your habits involving the computer - I'm the same, first thing I do when I get home is turn the computer on and the internet is hardest thing not to use, much much harder than no fap. I'm also one for checking forums frequently. It's almost a form of psychosis like a demented animal in a cage strutting back and forth constantly.
I'm trying to get to the bottom of my life long procrastination. Not using the internet is a feeling as though I'm missing out somehow, turn it off and the silence is deafening. I'm also into fitness and my diet is pretty good. I think it's an addiction that I'll have to face head on eventually. One whole week without using the internet gives me a very nervous tingling feeling, that's how I know I'm totally hooked on this. I think I would go mad, probably be in tears by the end of the second day. The issue is this is what is rewarding for me, reading posts on here and typing my views. I've also giving up gaming 3 weeks ago.

PMO is definitely a symptom of a problem, that's true for me. The people in my life definitely influence my motivation and enthusiasm for life. I need to be around life giving people, otherwise I end up drained myself. Perhaps you are this way ? The reason I've come to this conclusion is that living and working by myself has made me realise that I prefer my own leadership and when other people push me to do things I quickly get pissed off with it all. Anyway, rambling now, but related to what you posted in a big way
Oh and I think escaping something is all about control. When you feel like you're not in control its your way of rebelling from reality. My mum is very pushy for example and critical. When I moved away from her (love her a lot) it allowed me to do things on my own terms and face the consequences of my actions, good and bad. This is important because I learned that my decisions are what matters, not somebody elses, and my life goes how I want it to based on my decisions. In this way you take back control over your life and you have a reason to want to do thing.

When I said about the week I meant the thought of spending a week without the internet would probably kill me. I haven't spent more than a day without the computer in my entire adult life unless I've been on a trip away somewhere. Can't recall a day I've not used the computer when I've been at home, sad really, very sad. In fact tried to take some time away from it two weeks ago, managed 1.5 days !!!!

Same as you, a friend of mine plays LoL and he's pretty good at it, always trying for Gold League but he's a social freak, in denial about so many things in life, as am I suppose but at least I ruminate on all the things that are wrong, he just let's himself go guilt free playing LoL into the early hours. My favorites were Varus & Fiddlesticks. Never took it serious like him but we had some fun on there. Anyway, I dropped LoL when I packed in the games 3 weeks ago but you know really the games aren't the problem. The computer is the problem, it's the gateway to so many of our weaknesses. I can tell you now having cut the games out completely I'm still sitting here on the computer for hours every day, mostly on forums, doing the rounds checking FB, watching youtube videos, round and round and fucking round it goes, eating up hours of the day and night. 

No fap brought me to tears a few days ago, I was at 22 days and the urges were just ripping me up, the coping strategies failed. I think I realized just how sad my life is, I'm not an emotional person and was so surprised myself when this happened. It stemed from all the loneliness and frustration I REALLY felt deep down that I was medicating with PMO and without that outlet the urges got so bad I just broke down in the kitchen in tears.

Without internet as an outlet I can't say what I'd do and I really mean that, I have no idea how I would handle that even though I know myself pretty well. With the extremes of emotion, revelation and realization that comes with it, the same may hold true for no computer/internet, and the denial of both PMO and computer/internet at the same time will turn me into a freak show. I'm tempted to do it just to see how fucking crazy it makes me.


3 comments:

  1. My problems didn't go away till around 4-5 months of NOFAP.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It was literally of 5 months of hard mode that things where starting to get normal for me. Before that, I was literally A MESS. I cracked twice, once the second month, and then on the fifth month.

    I had a emotional breakdown on the fourth month that I cried and got angry. After that things started to get good. I'm still in a flatline, but I'm feeling better then I ever have fapping.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Its called flat-line folks... dont expect superpowers over the 1 month... it begins in my teoric experience in about 1 and a half month and so one.. but the flat-line can occur in very spaced moments. And yet.. dont expect divine intervantion on your succeful goals. Nofap will heal to the "normal" padron of the worlds human's life, but... so now you got the normal struggle on life like everybody else... it help you get a better perspective on life.. but achieve your goals and create a better life is up to you.

    ReplyDelete

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