Jun 8, 2015

A Second Puberty NoFap


I'm in my late 20s. Fapping has been a part of my life for a little over 10 years. And its effects show in the person I am today. The very little I have accomplished in life. The boy I am, compared to the man I could have been.

I'm just past day 40 and notice a great shift in my perspective in everyday life. The anxiety is still there, but there's less of it. I feel more in control of my emotions. I feel I'd be able to think through problems better.

This is my fourth long streak in the past ~18 months. I have had 35, 60, and 40 day streaks before.

I never used to look masculine. Always had a baby face with big eyes. Body hair wasn't really present in visible areas. Noticeable facial hair took a long time to grow. Till people get to know you, they judge you by the way you look. And it reflects in the way they treat you, how much initial respect they give, how seriously your words are taken, etc. We live in a superficial world. It's instinctual.

Recently (i.e. over the past few months), I have noticed physical changes in my body. They look like something you'd find in someone going through puberty. I did go through puberty like everyone else here. But, these changes are happening much later in life and look like above and beyond the normal changes I already had.

Some of these are cumulative -- like they are the result androgens raised above their normal baselines, them having an effect, and the effect getting pronounced over time, after every streak. The one that sticks out the most is my brow ridge. It seems to have grown over the past year. This was a shock to me and I noticed this just last month. I mean, it's fucking sticking out. I used to have a flat forehead. I didn't expect to see bone growth and changes at this age. A relative I hadn't seen in 18 months and just met yesterday commented on this. My eyes look more "deep set" now.

Please take note that I'm not saying that this happens on day 40. But rather it seems like a compounded effect of the various streaks I've had in the past. I just noticed it recently when I saw that I looked "uglier" in a more masculine way.

Another one of these cumulative effects seem to be hair growth. This one I could notice right away after about 30 days of every past streak. Especially on my forearms. There are short, thick hair growing. Hair that weren't there before. Same with my chest, which was practically bald a year ago.

I've also noticed that my "fur" seems more noticeable when I rub my hand on my body. The small hair follicles everyone has all over their body, but evolved to not use. I always had the follicles, but they never seemed to have any hair. I'm noticing small, light, wispy hairs all over my upper back, shoulders, and upper arms.

Some of the other effects are more temporary that others here experience.

Acne/pimples on the upper back, shoulders, lower neck, and chest. These show up for me around 7 - 15 days and usually disappear within a few weeks.

Another common one is the deeper voice. This is really important to me cuz I always used to come off as a pussy before with a trembling, mid pitch voice I was used to. My voice weakens within 24 hours of Ming after a decent streak.

I honestly think chronic masturbation in my teens had an effect on my physical growth. Seems like I never reached my potential. There were other factors that played a role at the time (poor diet, lack of exercise), but I feel PMO addiction was one of them.
I'm 27 now. As someone that never used to feel like a "man" before: always dependent on others, never taking chances, overly sensitive and emotional, these changes are a physical manifestation of a more deeper potential I'm reaching.

5 comments:

  1. Wow, I'm on day thirty and I'm experiencing everything you have said. Makes me want to keep going!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Everything you said I am experiencing now. Gives me more strength to keep going!

    ReplyDelete

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