Dec 2, 2015

Re-boot: 150 Days Of NoFap

Hi everyone, just wanted to share my experience with nofap so far.

I'm roughly about 150 days in and I cannot believe how much my life has changed over the last year. This has been the hardest thing I've ever done, but it has been so worth it. My life has changed for the better in so many ways, that sometimes I can't quite believe I've done it. Here is my story...

A year or so ago I was depressed, angry, de-motivated, loathed myself, my self esteem and confidence was at rock bottom and I couldn't see any way out. I had a shitty job, no girlfriend, was losing my friends and my life was in the gutter. I was using pmo as a crutch to support myself and take away the pain but I didn't realize that it was the one thing that created it.

My pmo addiction was out of control, I was masturbating more and more to some really disgusting videos. Things that make my skin crawl even thinking about now. And I couldn't stop myself. My erections were getting weaker and weaker and I no longer enjoyed orgasm. My self esteem just plummeted.
I knew something had to change when I ended up with a really hot girl but couldn't maintain an erection. I'll never forget the look of disappointment in her face and the shame I felt. I knew I was attracted to her but didn't understand why I couldn't get hard... This really messed with my head. I doubted my own sexuality and sanity. After googling Ed, I stumbled across the famous Gary Wilson TED talk. This one video pretty much saved my life, from there I found nofap and after reading the success stories in decided to give it a go.

In the beginning I failed so many times, each time I failed I picked myself up and started again. Resetting my counter is still the most gut wrenching feeling I've had. I had to reset that badge so many times but each time I did it was a little bit higher than the last time. A week turned into a month, then two months, then 90 days... After that it was easy. Just do not give up on yourself, just keep going. You might not make 90 in your first attempt but just keep trying. Eventually you will break through. And that's exactly what I did. I already knew what would happen if I did it give up, so I decided to see what happened if I didn't.

And this is what's changed in my lifetime over the past year...
  • Confidence and assertiveness has shot up. I can look people dead in the eye and feel comfortable doing it. I can talk to anyone about anything and feel comfortable doing it.
  • Energy levels are through the roof, I'm more awake and alert. My brain feels sharp.
  • I can't stop smiling all day every day, and have never felt this good in years.
  • My eyes look alive, no dark circles or heavy eye lids. The colour in them is getting brighter every day, they are beginning to look like my bright blue eyes I had as a child
  • My facial structure has changed my jaw looks more defined and face looks fuller
  • My acne is clearing up, and my skin looks healthy and my cheeks are always blushed
  • I know work for a major financial services organization, and I am 4 months into my traineeship. I had to go through 4 rounds of assessments to get this. Something I never could have done whilst Pmo was in my life. I was also one of only 5 people to do so out of around 200 applicants. I had been previously working part time 6 hours a week as I thought I couldn't handle full time work.
  • I have made so many friends in the last 6 months, people who want to be in my life and make me feel good. I am literally attracting positive people in to my life and boy does this feel great. My social life is amazing, I don't have time to play video games or watch TV because I'm always doing something with people who want to spend time with me.
  • I have met the girl of my dreams, who I made love to last night and broke my virginity with (I'm 26 btw) the sex was unbelievable and she wants more. But more than that she wants me and to be with me. I cannot describe how amazing this is. I feel connected to her, and love looking in her beautiful eyes. She doesn't know I had an addiction, but always comments on how I’m different from other guys she's been with. I'm not different, I'm who I was born to be. I am actually normal.
  • I have never been happier and more focused on my life. I am coming down of my medication (anti-anxiety) and look forward to regaining my self control
  • Life is just amazing now, everything about life is great. I've never felt so happy about the small things in life before. Seriously someone said pmo makes you blind, well I'm here to support that comment because it does. Once you shake it off, you begin to appreciate life and how fucking great it is.
Lastly, I no longer crave porn anymore. I have no desire ever to watch it again, once you get past the urges and through the flatline you begin to climb out of the darkness. Just make the commitment to yourself never to go back there, I must never go back to that person I was. This is the motivation I use to keep pushing forward and I'm fully committed to achieving another 150 days :-)

Please do yourself a favour and keep going. Just keep going. Life gets so much better.

For all you people thinking that my story seems too good to be true I am giving some more details about my journey.

I would say stopping PMO changed my lifestyle, It forced me out of my comfort zone and made me change. It was the first step in reshaping my life. I also regularly meditate, work out and everyday repeat positive affirmations about myself. The mind attracts what you regularly think about, so change your thoughts and change your life.

Ok here goes I'll tell you my daily routine...

Wake up, jump straight out of bed the minute the alarm goes off. Straight into a cold shower!! Freezing but wakes me up and gets my heart going. Repeat the five truths about fear 10 times whilst in the shower.
  • The Fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow.
  • The only way to get rid of the Fear of doing something is to go out and do it.
  • The only way to feel better about myself is to go out and do it.
  • Not only am I going to experience fear on unfamiliar territory but so is everyone else.
  • Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.

Get myself ready for work and walk to train station... On my walk there repeat positive affirmations. I'm currently saying -

"Every day and every-way my body and mind is growing stronger and stronger and happier and healthier"

Get to work and go about my day. Anytime in feel rubbish I repeat my affirmations in my head.

Come back from work and hit the gym. I lift weights and do cardio. I do the starting strength weights programme. This has improved my posture and muscle mass. Which is making me feel better about myself.

Come back from the gym and get dinner. Before bed I do my meditation:

Sit upright in a chair, with feet flat on the floor. Begin to relax and breathe through the nose and out through the mouth. I just let go and relax. I focus on my breath going in and out. Easy so simple and so relaxing. I repeat positive affirmations in my head once I feel relaxed. After my mediation I head to bed.

I repeat this pattern pretty much every day.

It's easy, anyone could do it. Just commit to making positive changes in your life.

I also like to read inspiring books, listen to inspiring talks (put les brown motivation into YouTube) and I make sure that no matter what happens I just smile.

I live in the UK!! Which makes cold showers even more challenging!! If you want to break the habit loop read a book called "The Power Of Habit " by Charles Duhigg. Or alternatively do what I did and buy the audio book to listen to when you are at the gym. The easiest way to break a habit is to replace it with something else. 

Flatline

This journey has pretty much been up and down. A couple of weeks back i felt terrible, really bad worse than when I was pmo'ing but I just pushed through. But I think this was my brain trying to force me back to my old habits. I just didn't give in.The bad times get further apart, I don't think progress is linear. All I would say is just keep going, because when you do it gets so much better. Also I have never cried so much in my life, all the emotions I've been holding on to just came out. And I feel much better for it.

NoFap is a gateway to other success habits, it's a 'low cost- high gain' exercise that makes you feel good and therefore increases your 'motivation money'. The more 'money' you have the more you can spend on things your motivation bank account previously couldn't afford, i.e going to the gym or saying yes to more activities. Each new success habit you invest in has great returns which leads to even more money and the ability to do anything you want. Somewhere along this pipeline you realize your completely in control and have the ability to design your own destiny and thus you smile all of the time :) Everyone in life craves progress and nofap is the perfect beginning due to it being such a cheap investment for high return but it certainly is not the end. 

TLDR; if you want to get more out of it start investing your 'motivation money' you've earned during nofap on other success habits

Source: Re-boot

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